I used to be a cute, young mom. My kids were little and squishy and all cherub-faced adorableness.
(I'm including photographic evidence below to support my claim.)
Now? Goodness Heavens - now? No.
Now I wake up and wonder who the hell are these people in my house?!
Starting with the person in the mirror each morning.
Aaauugghh! Where's the cute, young mom that was supposed to live here? Was she captured by this older and slightly haggard looking woman? Did this woman lock away cute, young mom out of envy? Probably. She looks like the type who would do something like that.
Then my children file downstairs and the wonder/terror starts all over again.
Aauugghh! Who are these people in my house?? Where are the cherub-faces and the toothless grins?? These people are giants! Did they eat my little wide-eyed muffin heads? Why isn't anyone asking to watch Curious George...? Why doesn't anyone want a cup of dry cereal??
WHAT IN THE NAME OF OL' SUZANNAH IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?!?! (Cue
Young, cute moms, let this be a warning to you. This kind of madness happens almost overnight.
I wish I were kidding.
You go from "mommy" to "OhMyGod you're such a control freak," in the span of about 48 seconds.
One minute your house is filled with the sound of Paw Patrol coming from the television and the next is stomping, door slamming and interminable silence.
Oh don't get me wrong - it's not all bad.
You also get to go from having to dress multiple little, wiggly bodies and barely having time to dress yourself to having this person that walks out of their room in a tux for their first Prom and your heart will all but stop because you'll be in awe that you had a hand in creating something that good-looking.
And soon you won't have to worry about finding a good babysitter so you and your husband can have 17 minutes alone because the oldest with his driver's license will be able to pick up the youngest from his soccer practice and will even grab a loaf of bread from the store for you and it will free up your time immensely.
There's good in this too.
Except all the random sprouts of gray hair.
I can't spin that in a fun way no matter how many words I use.
In closing, "word to the young": this will happen. Don't make fun of moms with crinkles and haggard-looking faces.
Word to the, um, less-than-youngish (those of you who can maybe relate to this,) yelling out, "STRANGER DANGER" when your children come down the stairs in the morning will only evoke eye rolls and possible texts being sent - about you.
Don't try that at home. Take it from me. It wasn't that funny.
Also, if a haggard-looking woman is looking at you in the mirror one morning, ask her what she did with the cute mom that used to live in my house. I still can't find her.