Does anyone else have a "smart" (gets decent grades, has displayed a fair amount of common sense) kid that does something so incredibly stupid it makes you question...well, everything?
Yesterday, my kids' school had "early out." Meaning they were released back into the wild two hours prior to when they normally are let out. I thought, rather than having my children destroy my house in this additional two-hour time frame, I would give them a few tasks that would keep them busy enough that hopefully the pantry, the cupboards and the furniture would take a minimal hit.
Silly me. After 17 years of motherhood, I still have much to learn.
I was feeling confident, up here in the great, white north, that our "bug season" was pretty much over, so I decided to ask the children's assistance in taking the screens off the windows and hauling them to the basement. This was going moderately well until they reached the windows in the upstairs bedrooms.
Child one, in room one. Opens window, takes screen off.
Simultaneously, child two in room two - opens window, takes screen off.
Inadvertently, both children stick their heads out of the window at approximately the same time and realize they can see one another "outside!"
As parenting would have it, of course, things went from funny to OH MY FRICKIN WORD, WHAT ARE YOU TWO THINKING when laughing and waving turned into lets play a game of football leaning out the windows and see if the other person can catch it.
I had just, the day prior, been to multiple parent-teacher conferences regarding my children. Not one teacher, NOT ONE, told me they thought any of my children had a malfunction in their brain that would cause them to do an idiotic stunt like leaning out of a second-story window to catch a ball.
Fail on your part, teachers. You totally missed that one!
Just kidding, teachers. Its not you, its me.
And by me I mean, their dad. Because my brain does not contain a piece or portion that would come up with something so stupidly dangerous. However, when they retold the story later, I did see their dad's face shape into a smirk at that point in the story.
Never mind, its not me, its him.
Ugh, how can I get my children to act solely like me?
.... I mean, me without the excessive worrying. And the slight temper problem. And the inability to jump.
Okay, fine, dear Children, you can act like a mixture of both of us.
But when faced with dangerous situations, could you at least possibly take a moment and think, what would mom do?
That may add a few years to your life.
It may also add a few years to mine.