Lactose, I mean, Lying Intolerant

Of all the things I don't tolerate very well (and the list is looooong) lying is numero uno. Above people who cannot mind their own business. Above braggarts and show-offs. Even above the horrible drivers in the school pick up line - lying tops them all for me.

I think because its so ...preventable?

Why does someone lie anyway? "Because the truth might hurt someone's feelings," is a common answer.

Guess what? That someone is going to be even more hurt when they find out you lied to to them. Hurt about what was the truth. Then doubly hurt that you aren't honest enough to give them that truth. You had to make something up. Cover it up with a fabrication.

That's terrible. You should feel like a horrible person if you lie because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings. That's crap. No, you're crap for that crappy excuse.

"Because I thought I would get in trouble," is a reason commonly given by kids. If you have kids, you may have heard this one. If you have kids and have heard this, chances are you, like me, were forty-five times more ticked off when you handed out a punishment for lying than you would have been for - whatever it was that was lied about in the first place.

When someone lies to you, its such a raw, blatant, slap-in-the-face.

Jesus may teach us to forgive, but some of us fall into the "slow learners" category.

That's me. On forgiving. For the lying.

And when I do forgive you, it certainly won't mean a) I'll erase your deception from my elephant-sized memory or b) I'll be likely to trust you with even the most menial and insignificant of tasks. Tying your own shoe? I'd mention to you that your shoe needs tying but I'm still a little burnt from that time you lied to me and don't trust you to even manage that, so here, I'll just tie it for you.

Lovely people of the world, don't lie. Leave that to the deceptive jackasses of the world. They love to lie. You shouldn't. This alone will keep a wide chasm between you and them. It will be so easy for people to decipher the good from the deceitful poopheads.

Seriously, it will come back around to bite your fanny. The person will find out. They will be hurt and you will jeopardize something that's important to you. Whether its an entire friendship, the trust of a colleague, the faith of your spouse or the adoration of the young people in your life - people will look at you differently when they find out you've lied to them. And they should. You're not the person they thought you were. You've now joined the poopheads. I hope you like it over there.

Why are you ranting about this Jess? What did any of us do to be abused by your lecturing ways?

Maybe you didn't. Maybe you wouldn't. Maybe I know some kids who read this blog and I'm warning them. Maybe I know some habitual liars that I've recently cut out of my life and I'm giving them the reason - here, in black and white.

Or maybe I'm just old enough to realize there are types of people I don't need in my life. Liars are one of the types. Hand me the truth even if it'll embarrass me. Tell me my butt looks like it got ironed by a waffle maker. Tell me my hair style is making me resemble Simba after the battle scene with Uncle Scar. Tell me I'm too loud or too sweary or too Type A.

Its okay. I may not like to hear these things. I may tell you a few things about your butt or your hair or your this-is-why-you-can't-find-anything-Type-B-personality, but in the end at least we'll know where we stand.

We stand for honesty. And that's a pretty-colored pedestal to stand on.