Family Viewing


Considering some people have become incredibly fond of discussing vajayjay covering lately, I thought I'd give us something to actually talk about....

Where should we start?

Making women figure skaters wear pants?

How about the synchronized swim teams? Swimmers in general? They do dive off the blocks and high dives....

Cheerleaders and volleyball players - beware, I foresee spandex bike shorts in your uniformed future.


Come on, people. Let's dive down to the real issue here.


The real issue, is that people have different levels of comfort with nudity. Some people are completely comfortable walking around in the most minimal coverings available. My brother-in-law jokes that the rule in his father-in-law's house is: if you don't want to see me in my underwear, don't come into my kitchen. In other words - it's his house and he'll wear what he damn well pleases. If it offends you, there's an exit as well as an entrance.


I'm completely aware that this freaks some people out. I get it. Some people prefer to be fully covered at all times and feel their most comfortable when they have the least amount of skin showing as humanly possible.

I can respect that.

I can't get on board with it and join in because I would meet my death on a humid day in July - but I'm okay if you want to.


So, the real issue behind all the halftime performance arguments really comes down to your own personal preference.


We can argue this all we want but I'll break it down on a simpler, easier-to-relate-to level. If you go to the gym and you see a woman working out in a sports bra and shorts - does this offend you?

If yes, you may likely have also been offended by that performance.


But here's the kicker: just like the girl in the sports bra is not violating any dress code (were she - we would assume that a staff member would ask her politely to cover up but for discussion sake - we'll assume her ta-tas were covered by the bra top) do you not think that JLo and Shakira didn't have to get their outfits okayed pre-performance time?

I think if the Fox network people gave it the okay - just like they don't put a blur bubble over every college cheerleader jumping, every figure skater split skating and every gymnast leaping - I think we should maybe just sit back and realize that we have absolutely zero say in any of this.


Any indignant outcry is going to change approximately zero things. There will still be cheerleaders cheering. There will still be nude beaches available for those comfortable-with-their-own-bodies people. There will still be runners running in sports bras (and likely, near them a shirtless male runner as well.) My brother-in-law's father-in-law will still be okay standing in his kitchen in his underwear, despite the fact that he may have company.

And quite frankly, JLo will still have performed at half time.


You know what else we still have? A power button on our remote. A channel up/down button on our remote.

No one forces anyone to watch TV. At least I've never heard of that particular form of torture being used.


So if that type of "display" (the cheerleader, the figure skater, the JLO) makes you uncomfortable - there is no one asking you to broaden your comfort level. That's yours and yours alone. But if you thought it was too much - is there any reason to subject yourself to it further?


Let me ask you this: if you go to a friend's house and your friend turns on a porno and you're not into pornos, do you fill your coffee cup, sit back and watch it for the sake of your friend? Or do you make your polite excuse as to why your hair needs a sudden washing and get the hell out of there?


Hey, I've been saying for YEARS that I wish the Superbowl people would take everything down a notch. Half time performances aside - a few years ago there was a movie trailer that aired MULTIPLE times during the Superbowl. A movie trailer for what had to have been (I didn't see it, I'm not into things that disturbing) the most horrifying plot in the history of the big screen. The damn trailer freaked me out. It freaked my kids WAY OUT and every time it came on (which amazingly, given the cost of a Superbowl ad was multiple times!) we had to cover my youngest kid's eyes!

Family friendly?

Not to my family!


.... And there's the long and short of it.

To my family and the age my kids were at that time and the lack of interest we have in horror movies - that trailer was not deemed "family friendly."

Interestingly enough, very few other people seemed to give any craps at all about that same freaky-ass ad.


Do you see where I'm going with this...? Please say yes.


To a family that's not okay with that much on display - that half time show may not have been "family friendly." But that doesn't mean the neighbors were having the same issue with it.


Do you approve of everyone's attire when you go to the public pool or beach?

Probably not (looking at you Speedo Steve!) but do you get to delegate what everyone wears before they come into your view?


It's unfortunate that we all feel it's our job to let everyone know where we stand with public figures but we have trouble telling our aging parents not to use that word anymore or our obnoxious neighbor that saying the R-word is offensive.

Those things we can just shake our heads and wish silently that they wouldn't happen.


But JLo, Prince Harry's wife, the Blogilates trainer - those people, oh totally! we can tell those people when they are offending us and/or our family friendly compass....

Pausing to find my eyeball that just rolled into the back of my head.


Hey, I'm not saying you should have loved the performance. I didn't ask you to watch video clips of it and learn the moves yourself. I didn't suggest that you jump out of your comfy chair and give them an living room standing ovation. All I'm saying is maybe handle that the same way you handle your obnoxious neighbor. Just shake your head and go about your business.

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